Questions re: IHOP culture

A journal entry from September 2023

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash

I have wanted to start writing about my experience at IHOPKC, but I have not known where to start.

Do I start by sharing my 16 year history there and the different roles I held and what I saw and experienced in each? Or do I start with a topic like gossip, power differentials, or IHOPKC’s interpretation on Matthew 18, and unpack the wrong ways I viewed those ideas and related passages? Or do I start with the Mike Bickle scandal of October 2023 and the way we were lied to by IHOPKC leaders? I don’t know.

What I do know is that processing is helpful for healing. Writing, talking with friends, hearing stories, and validating each other’s experiences has been so healing for me and for many others. When I listen to other people’s experiences they validate that I was not crazy. These stories continue to confirm that something, in fact, was not right at IHOPKC.

I used to think ‘something is not right’ and give the benefit of the doubt thinking, ‘oh these are just our collective blindspots’ or ‘well, no ministry is perfect’ or ‘I will just pursue growing in these areas that I find lacking and, you know, be the change I wish to see at IHOP’. Giving the benefit of the doubt is not a bad thing, but unfortunately it can be taken advantage of when a whole company of well meaning people are following the vision of a man who turns out to be a complete fraud.

Going back to the question: where should I start?

Any one topic, or situation, or experience with a leader is like a ball of yarn that once you pull upon it could just unravel and go on forever.

So I looked through my journal from the last year and thought I’d start in September of 2023, not because there is anything special about this entry. But simply because I need to start somewhere, and this is as good a place as any.

This journal entry was one month before Mike Bickle was exposed and the leaders of IHOPKC totally mishandled the serious allegations concerning him.

In September 2023 I was having conversations with the Lord and with my husband, Nathan, about desiring to talk with an ELT leader at IHOPKC related to the many questions I had. So I began to write my questions down. Nathan shared my similar concerns, and he was happy to join me in finding a leader to bring our concerns to. So in September I journaled one question, and one question turned into nearly 20 questions.. and little did I know these questions would later prove to be simply ‘tip of the iceberg’ issues. In other words, if these concerns were all that was wrong about the culture Mike Bickle created at IHOPKC, then that would have been best case scenario. Turns out what would soon be exposed was worst case scenario, and our lives would implode.

For a little context, I had personal hurt during my time at IHOPKC, but I always thought I was more of a unicorn situation, meaning I was under the impression that most people have great experiences and I happened to have had one of great harm. This way of viewing my situation led me to think that sharing my story would be unhelpful, since so much good was happening there. Turns out many others had stories of harm, too. Turns out abuse thrived in the silence culture of IHOPKC. Turns out I wasn’t the only person to experience the neglectful and harmful leadership at IHOPKC.

Here are some questions I was asking then — in September 2023 — taken directly from my journal. Turns out I was onto something. I don’t share these questions and concerns to toot my horn, I share them:

1. to expose these issues as what they were: simply the tip of the iceberg, and

2. to ask the question: has anything changed at IHOPKC? (maybe the characters on the stage have changed.. maybe Isaac Bennett’s church was voted down by the board, maybe Stuart Greaves is flying airplanes somewhere, and maybe David Sliker is leading a meeting of young people from his home … maybe it’s different faces behind the decisions being made … but has anything changed at a fundamental level for IHOPKC??)

Ok, onto my journal entry (I never thought there would come a day I would share any page of any journal of mine publicly, but alas, here it goes…)

September 2023 - journal entry*
Questions re: IHOP culture
*[Anything in brackets was added later to give context to you, the reader. (Anything in parentheses was in parentheses in my original handwritten journal entry, because apparently I do those just for myself too…:)]

1. What does MB [Mike Bickle] (Stuart, Dave, Isaac) value to see in his leaders?
   (what character traits, what heart postures, what lifestyles + habits?)

2. How much value (and therefore time, energy, and effort) is given to:

   1. friendship groups

   2. vulnerability

   3. vibrant marriages

   4. healing family of origin

   5. counseling

   6. sabbath

   7. digital minimalism

   8. finances

   9. stewarding physical [health]

   10. (in summary, how much value is given to caring for the whole person?)

3. Why do we ask for 48 hour work weeks? How can we expect someone to be so busy and occupied yet also steward their bodies, relationships, marriages, families, and rhythms of solitude and sabbath?

4. Why doesn’t IHOP function like any other business when it comes to a “board” — where are the systems in place for leaders to be held accountable?

5. Why did we dissolve the board? How does the ELT make decisions? Is there anyone on the ELT unpaid by IHOP / with no strings attached?

6. Why doesn’t FC [Forerunner Church] function like a New Testament church with elders, etc.?

7. Where is the emphasis on discipling the whole person, not just the “spiritual” [person]?

8. Where is life on life discipleship happening? [This is a buzz phrase in christian worlds to just mean doing real, normal life with real, normal people]

9. Who are the main leaders discipling — who does MB, Stuart, and Dave bring into the mess of their world?

10. Who are their peers?

11. How are their marriages? How do they prioritize marriage?

12. Why don’t we hear about these peoples personal lives, marriages, friendships, etc. from the platform? Where is the transparency?

13. Why is the sacred so separated from the ‘secular’ — the spiritual vs. the physical?

14. Where is the integration, the contextualization, of the spiritual with the rest of life?

15. Do MB, Dave, Stuart, Issac value counseling, storywork, healing from family of origin, accountability, vulnerability, intimacy (w/ more than just your wives) — if so where is that expressed? [sorry yuck, at the word intimacy here, and at the ‘with more than just your wives’.. at the time of writing this I had ZERO clue about sexual impropriety/abuse/misconduct…]

16. Where is the care for the flock? Do we value our teams having vibrant marriages, healthy/sustainable rhythms of rest, growth, connection, silence, margin, etc.?

17. Where are the shepherds?

18. Why did all these people leave (out the back door)?

1. Allen Hood

2. Corey Russell

3. John Chisolm

4. Jono Hall

5. Wes Hall

6. Misty [Edwards, who left and came back]

7. Venables

8. Thurlow, Rizzo, Meiers, Luke Wood, etc.

9. Lou Engle

—

And that is where my entry ends. I had intentions of reaching out to an ELT [Executive Leadership Team] leader regarding my concerns.

I knew I needed to talk to someone who would be understanding toward my concerns, but also someone who had power to bring about change. Which means they needed to be on the ELT. I had a leader and his wife in mind.

Unfortunately, that meeting never happened before Mike would be exposed one month later. And sadly, the couple I had intentions of meeting with would later help the ELT fumble at the chance to do the right thing and further obscure truth and accountability.